You may have heard it said that trauma is not caused by what happened, but by how we respond to what happens, internally. This is true, but I think it is incomplete. It panders to the desire to put something incredibly complex into a few words or a short sentence. The shortest way I can think of to formulate what is really meant, is as follows:
Continue reading “It’s About the Response…”Tag: #trauma
Children Need More Than a Loving Family
There is much mention of children’s need for a loving family on social media and in advocacy campaigns. Particularly from those working in child protection reform. There is no doubt that children absolutely do need this. However, as someone who grew up in a loving family, I need to tell you that that is not enough.
Continue reading “Children Need More Than a Loving Family”Learning to Hold Space
It’s all great to talk about needing to resolve, and help others resolve, trauma but that’s much easier said than done. Working with a traumatised person to help them face, feel, and process what has happened to them in a way that helps them heal and move on from it is extremely complex and requires specialised expertise and training. Something that, unfortunately and surprisingly, even many psychologists and psychiatrists have never been trained for. However, being unable to do all of that, does not mean we, lay people, are unable to do anything.
Continue reading “Learning to Hold Space”Changing the World: Building on Gabor Mate’s Work
It is scary to look around at everything that is happening in the world at the moment. In the face of so many tragic and scary circumstances, it can be hard not to lose hope and feel powerless. However, I believe that there is something we can do, something we can work on in various ways ourselves to bring about change. It will not change everything overnight and it is simple, but not easy, but I do believe it is effective. It boils down to the Dutch saying ‘Verbeter de wereld, begin bij jezelf’ (Improve the world, start with yourself), but not in a finger-wagging way.
Continue reading “Changing the World: Building on Gabor Mate’s Work”Getting Started: First Step
Aside from spreading awareness about the impact of trauma and how to get beyond it, through this website and the book I am working on, I also want to apply the knowledge to set real changes in motion. I am delighted that over the past year, I have gone from a powerful but vague sense of how to make a major difference in the world through addressing trauma to a very concrete plan for how I can do something about that in a practical sense. As it turns out, it lies at the heart of the work I have been doing for the past 18 years. Its outline still sounds grandiose and theoretical: Radical child protection reform that goes beyond addressing symptoms and kicking the can down the road. But I have found a simple, practical starting point.
Continue reading “Getting Started: First Step”Reforming Child Protection Systems, Globally
Currently, child protection reform is generally understood as a move from residential to family-based alternative care and a need to build strong gatekeeping mechanisms. Moreover, many see it as something that needs to happen ‘over there, in the global South’, because ‘over here’ the system works, it just needs some fine-tuning and minor improvements. In this fine-tuning, the increasing trend of adding on trauma-informed practices is seen as a breakthrough and major improvement (don’t get me wrong, I’m not disputing that this is certainly a lot better than not having them). I have come to view this very differently.
Continue reading “Reforming Child Protection Systems, Globally”Discovering the Road to Peace
While out on a walk, letting my mind drift, things started to connect in my brain. What is happening in the world at the moment, my professional knowledge and my personal experiences came together to form what seems like a coherent answer to an apparently unanswerable question.
Continue reading “Discovering the Road to Peace”